I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
