So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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