Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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