i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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