Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can text with my tongue
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
