i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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