Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
