There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
