Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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