I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dick very happy bro
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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