if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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