so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
