he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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