So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
