You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
