you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize