i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
