whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
third nipple confirmed
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize