Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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