just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
