you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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