I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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