you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
