i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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