Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
