ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
