i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
