The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
