I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
