She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
