I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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