Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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