school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
