i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A+ Viking dick
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
