Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
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The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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