He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
