glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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