I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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