Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
