hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
