After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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