Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
