You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize