The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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