Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
