My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
