i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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