i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
