I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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