The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
