You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
