so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
