its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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