I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
