he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
