dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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