she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
