I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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