Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
