Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
