If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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