Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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