So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
