Kiss
Puke
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
