no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Panties = found
Randomize
